Florida: A Failure of Community

After the Florida shooting President Trump spoke words of comfort to the children. “We will be there for you if you are lost, alone, confused, and even scared. You will never be alone . . . “   Was he talking to the survivors of the tragedy? Obviously the FBI wasn’t there, even with a prior warning.

Maybe Trump was talking to young men, the young men who are lonely and confused and angry. Maybe he was telling them that they don’t have to do this kind of violence in order to get attention. But neither the president nor any government official can make angry young men feel part of a community.  Only the community can do that. It was a failure of community – not an online community, but a failure of a real community in real time and in a real place. Maybe such a community wasn’t even there. It’s not just up to law enforcement who, practically speaking, can only react to something gone bad.

I saw again the still photo, black and white, of two boys in the Columbine classroom, the killers in that massacre. Angry, lonely, fearful. They must have known they would not survive the day.

High School can be a place where hormones make growing teens feel off balance, disoriented, easily moody. The pressure to fit in with the crowd is a top priority in lives lived minute to minute, often doing things that are risky. Our pre-programmed biology creates a kind of dance, pushing us to establish a social hierarchy. There are top dogs and then there are the rest of us. It can be cruel. Many subdominant males get left behind. Some get cast out.

This story is not new. It has been written about in books such as Lord of the Flies and A Clockwork Orange, worlds of youth gone sour and turned violent. One can feel the youthful passions present in popular music of the day and then reflected back again in Stravinsky’s Dance of the Adolescents. In the Lord of the Flies there was no one to guide them, no clues on how to get along with other children, and so their situation brought out the worst. Social pressure on young people without guidance from an older generation is definitely high stakes. It writes a warped and cruel drama.

Older people forget these passions. We’ve found our parking spot and turn our attention to the next thing.   Ever since Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone there have been warnings of what weak community bonds can look like, though it is often from a sociologist’s point of view more than what is experienced by the individual.

Girls don’t do these violent things as much as boys. Girls seem to form friendships with other girls that carry them though. Girls are not to blame for the violence but neither are they passive observers. Girls have their own special power over boys. Some of them are aware of this while others have their own self-concept challenges, but they too have this special power.

Teenagers seem driven – or maybe expected – to make fun of others, teasing, ignoring, saying cruel things to the weirdo, the kooks (whatever the current lingo), to the guy that stares at them and then tries to smile. It’s a Lord of the Flies, over and over again, a competitive field for the business of constructing and climbing the social ladder.  It’s serious stuff. Kids seem to know that, but I’m not sure they can see or sense a loneliness in others.

The Florida killer was reported to be an autistic young male. This does not mean that he was not sensitive to the pressures that build social hierarchies. He had recently lost his remaining parent. I would guess that outside of school he spent most of his time in front of a screen, playing violent video games or expressing his anger on social media, probably feeling even more alone. He didn’t want to go to school on Valentine’s Day, the day of the shooting.

Last year a flash mob in Oakland used their cell phones to coordinate the entrance into a subway car, told everyone to hand over their wallets and then left with their loot. The newspaper account was straight up news but still upsetting to read.   This was Clockwork Orange. It will be a challenge to the elders of Oakland, the parents, teachers, political leaders and police force.  What will the elders do? Simply catch and punish? Bring them to justice? Or somehow bring them back into the community?

How do we create a community where it is weak or non-existent? How do we find and bring in the angry, fearful young men?   Where is a place for them to connect?   Being alone is not bad. We all need some time alone. But inability to form friendships should be a warning sign.   When we see this, why are we unable to act?   One does not have to be their friend, but we can say hello, and maybe indirectly through other people help to find a place for the guy to fit in, to find some purpose in his life. That’s what leaders do.
In many ways the world of public school is not real, not real in the same sense that an apprentice might feel when learning a trade or learning skills from a parent.   High School students should work on real world problems, not just a hypothetical problem for extra credit. By themselves, students may not have enough experience to know how to connect and how to work on real issues, but their input may be critical to finding solutions.  Education, after all, is essentially about survival.

Where to start? Notice where students go when class is over and see if they have friends. Get to know the people around you and the neighbors too, but don’t limit it to neighbors. Go the distance to find someone (probably a young man) who doesn’t seem to fit in. If you find someone, don’t simply be nice. Ask them to do something. Give then a hammer or wrench and get them involved in a project. Help them find some place that itself has a real need. Sometimes just listen.

Influence of social media, violent videos, or overuse of drugs and medications are questions that a community should face up to. The lucky ones have extended families to help deal with it all. Many others among us have a nuclear family or a few close friends. Those outside the circle must become more than just “others”.